It's funny to think back on things that happened a veritable lifetime ago. Whether it just feels like an actual lifetime (in my case) or it sort of, kind of was (in the case of RFC mix-day-part-one-r's case, Abby Holmes), it's a strange sensation to put yourself back in the state of mind you were in previously. Now, don't get me wrong, readers, right now? Things are kind of swell in the "hot half-life" of Amber Valentine. But not that long ago, I spent almost a full year in the "friend zone" desperately trying to make my way out of it, like a cat scrambling to find it's way out of a burlap sack before being tossed in the Rouge River.
I've told this story many a-time and every telling results in the same declaration from my pals: "Who friend zone's Amber Valentine?" Good question! Well, in theory, it is. In actuality, however, I could make you a list of fine young gentlemen who have relegated your lovely racounteur to the sexual death that is known as the "friend zone". And sadly, that list is lengthy and covers many phases of my aforementioned hot half-life (which I do half-live, for those keeping score at home). Let's face it: We've all been there, whether we'd like to admit it or not. So, cheers to the friend zone. It's a sucky place full of sexless nights and agonized mornings but guess what? This gal's living proof that there is a pretty sweet existence outside of that dreaded, platonic, grey area and once you give up the ghost, you'll find there are other boys out there. Or girls, if that's what you're into.
Cheers To The Friend Zone
This Is Unlike The Story It Was Written To Be
A Friend Zone RFC Mix
"Oh, baby, you got what I need, but you say 'He's just a friend'."
"Every time you open up your mouth to speak, it's self referenced and that's tragic."
"I've been trying to move on.... But it's so hard on me."
Editor's Note: If you download one song from this mix, please make it this one.
"I know you like her, well, I like her too but I know she likes you."
"It seems so real I can hear it, so why can't I touch it?"
"If these guys, if they're really so great, tell me, why can't they at least take this place and take it straight?"
"I'm sorry I don't have her face and I'm probably gonna lose this race - There is no doubt she's such a mouse with such an abstract grace."
"Allow me to show you the way which I adore you."
"This was unlike the story it was written to be, I was riding its back when it used to ride me."
"I'm not the one you want babe, I will only let you down."
"I tried to move, the world moved with me. Moved into the photo booth, no one would kiss me. Everyone knows that I'm still in love with you."
"Everything you dream of is right in front of you and everything is a lie."
"You want to travel with her and you want to travel blind, and you know that you can trust her for she's touched your perfect body with her mind."
"We'll be friends forever, but I'm afraid that you'll never love me."
"You want to cut me off because I took too much, but don’t leave me alone."
"Thank you for being a friend."
Note: I had the vague idea of making a mix about being totally and utterly friend zoned and I posted on my facebook, asking for suggestions. RFC's own Matthew V. had the beautiful idea of tossing the Golden Girl's theme song on here as a "stake through the heart". Other beautiful and noteworthy contributions come courtesy of Zak Freed, Blisslist's Liz Frith, the lovely Nora Stone, Adam Scoppa, roomate Sarah Kelly, and Tony Hansen.