It's funny to think back on things that happened a veritable lifetime ago. Whether it just feels like an actual lifetime (in my case) or it sort of, kind of was (in the case of RFC mix-day-part-one-r's case, Abby Holmes), it's a strange sensation to put yourself back in the state of mind you were in previously. Now, don't get me wrong, readers, right now? Things are kind of swell in the "hot half-life" of Amber Valentine. But not that long ago, I spent almost a full year in the "friend zone" desperately trying to make my way out of it, like a cat scrambling to find it's way out of a burlap sack before being tossed in the Rouge River.
I've told this story many a-time and every telling results in the same declaration from my pals: "Who friend zone's Amber Valentine?" Good question! Well, in theory, it is. In actuality, however, I could make you a list of fine young gentlemen who have relegated your lovely racounteur to the sexual death that is known as the "friend zone". And sadly, that list is lengthy and covers many phases of my aforementioned hot half-life (which I do half-live, for those keeping score at home). Let's face it: We've all been there, whether we'd like to admit it or not. So, cheers to the friend zone. It's a sucky place full of sexless nights and agonized mornings but guess what? This gal's living proof that there is a pretty sweet existence outside of that dreaded, platonic, grey area and once you give up the ghost, you'll find there are other boys out there. Or girls, if that's what you're into.
Cheers To The Friend Zone
This Is Unlike The Story It Was Written To Be
A Friend Zone RFC Mix
"Oh, baby, you got what I need, but you say 'He's just a friend'."
Jukebox The Ghost - Half Crazy
"Every time you open up your mouth to speak, it's self referenced and that's tragic."
Andrew Jackson Jihad - I Love You
"I've been trying to move on.... But it's so hard on me."
Editor's Note: If you download one song from this mix, please make it this one.
Belle and Sebastian - Jonathan David
"I know you like her, well, I like her too but I know she likes you."
Buzzcocks - Why Can't I Touch It?
"It seems so real I can hear it, so why can't I touch it?"
The Modern Lovers - I'm Straight
"If these guys, if they're really so great, tell me, why can't they at least take this place and take it straight?"
"I'm sorry I don't have her face and I'm probably gonna lose this race - There is no doubt she's such a mouse with such an abstract grace."
"Allow me to show you the way which I adore you."
Joanna Newsom - Peach, Plum, Pear
"This was unlike the story it was written to be, I was riding its back when it used to ride me."
Fleet Foxes - It Ain't Me Babe
"I'm not the one you want babe, I will only let you down."
Sad Brad Smith - Everyone Knows I'm Still in Love With You
"I tried to move, the world moved with me. Moved into the photo booth, no one would kiss me. Everyone knows that I'm still in love with you."
The Replacements - Unsatisfied
"Everything you dream of is right in front of you and everything is a lie."
"You want to travel with her and you want to travel blind, and you know that you can trust her for she's touched your perfect body with her mind."
Jeremy Messersmith - Beautiful Children
"We'll be friends forever, but I'm afraid that you'll never love me."
Okkervil River - It Ends With a Fall
"You want to cut me off because I took too much, but don’t leave me alone."
"Thank you for being a friend."
Note: I had the vague idea of making a mix about being totally and utterly friend zoned and I posted on my facebook, asking for suggestions. RFC's own Matthew V. had the beautiful idea of tossing the Golden Girl's theme song on here as a "stake through the heart". Other beautiful and noteworthy contributions come courtesy of Zak Freed, Blisslist's Liz Frith, the lovely Nora Stone, Adam Scoppa, roomate Sarah Kelly, and Tony Hansen.
I usually tip a buck or two a day, but I give it when I check out. Once I tried to tip after the first day of a multi-day stay, but the maid didn't take it. I assumed that it was because she didn't want to be accused of stealing.
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