Oh, how easy it is to play the martyr. And no matter how many of my friends proofread the scant words I've written on my emotional well being as of late, I can't help but feel like I'm dragging the other party through the mud. I realize I'm not. If anything, I'm being all too cordial about the situation becuase no matter what way you slice it, I didn't only expect more respect but I deserved it. And at 26, I'm sort of at the "all or nothing" phase of my life where I deem people worth my time completely or not worth it all. Casual dating? That ain't me, babe. But neither is cruelty where it isn't deserved. So, as there are two sides to every story, I did my best to attepmt to, in twelve songs or less, tell ya'll what the proverbial "he" might be feeling right now. Did I hit the nail on the head? Well, in the words of Brand New front man Jesse Lacey, "you won't know". None of us will. He doesn't come around this way anymore. (Editor's note: Overdramatic even for me! Ah, man. Heartache is so funny in retrospect!)
So this is best effort to encapsulate what exactly he may have been thinking when he let a catch like this go. (No, seriously, I'm a catch you guys! I mean... That's what my step mom keeps telling me!)
Check my half of story at Left With Nothing Left To Lose: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.
Also, be sure to grab Shani's "Boost Amber's Morale" mix called Break Up, Drink Up.
As for what's left...
Two Sides To Every Story
What's Left To Say When Your Tongue's Turned To Ash?
A Radio Free Chicago Mix
"You turned your friends into lovers and now, your lovers are all gone."
"If I wounded you, I'm sorry. It happens all the time."
"If I could help you, you wouldn't have to ask."
"Your daughter wasn't careful - I fear that I am a slippery slope."
"If you believe in something beautiful, then get up and be it."
"Memories aren't for keeping, mostly just for leaving behind."
"Crawled (his) way into your heart, to rend your ventricles apart."
"She said 'Life's a game we're meant to lose. Stick by me and I will stick by you.'"
"Boys are always wrong, they found out later on, when they're too ashamed to change what's done & it's too late."
"This isn't working, my middlebrow fuck up."
"This infection gets stronger every year, this direction of a tear rolling down your cheek. And there is no escapign it."
"It's a motherfucker."