An Open Letter To Ice Cube

Dear Ice Cube,

Back in the late eighties/early nineties you were the edgiest rapper alive. You were the brains behind NWA's Straight Outta Compton, the first and best gangster rap album. Your debut album, AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted, is one of the most critically acclaimed and controversial albums of the nineties. Your sophomore LP, Death Certificate, was even more controversial. The media accused you of being misogynistic, racist, and anti-Semitic.

Your next LP, The Predator, wasn’t as strong as your previous three LPs and EP Kill At Will, but it was still a good album. Sure, it wasn’t edgy, but it was full of great tunes. It was your most commercially successful album. Fans, critics, and the media were all pleased.

Check Yo' Self - Ice Cube

But then you began to lose your edge, Cube. Your next five LPs blew chunks, and your newest LP I Am The West is the most neutered, boring, rap album I’ve ever heard. I feel like my ears are deceiving me. The same man who wrote “True To The Game”, a song about not selling out, is now directing a shitty sitcom and acting in family friendly comedies.

Here’s the thing Cube, everybody knows your gangster persona is an act. You’re not a real gangster, you’re an entertainer. Listening to you intelligently rap about controversial issues and piss off ignorant moral gaurdians was entertaining. From 1988-1991 you were the edgiest artist alive. Now you're a walking punchline. You’ve lost your cool. You've melted your edges. You’re no longer Ice Cube. You’re Water Puddle.

I imagine you’ve become who you are for your kids and wife. It’s touching that you love them Puddle, but just because you want to be more family friendly doesn’t mean you have to stop making great art. Remember Friday? It’s one of the greatest movies ever made, and your kids could totally watch it. It teaches a great lesson.

What happened to your awesome action movies like Boyz In The Hood, Three Kings, and XXX: State of the Union? Since 2007 you’ve starred in nothing but crappy comedies. Why not be the black Jason Statham? Teenagers love action movies. When your kids become teenagers, they’ll love them too.

As a general rule, family sitcoms are unfunny. Somehow, Are We There Yet manages to be spectacularly unfunny. So bad it’s bad. I’m not going to call you a bad writer, Puddle, because you’ve written some excellent raps, but you’re an awful screenwriter. Your characters are one dimensional. Your conflicts are boring. Your jokes are not funny. Filling out tax returns is more fun than watching Are We There Yet. Tax returns are less predictable.

Just because you’re a family man now doesn’t mean you have to make shitty art. You’ve got talent Puddle. Use it. It’s possible to be edgy without being offensive. It’s possible to be entertaining without being mature. When your kids age I imagine they’ll be as embarrassed of I Am The West and Are We There Yet as you should be. Don’t forget Puddle, you’re an entertainer. Right now you aren’t entertaining anyone, and you won't until you become Ice Cube again. If you continue down the path you've chosen, it won't be long until you evaporate into nothing.

Sincerely,
Clay Riedesel