Radio Free Chicago

An RFC Mix: Songs to Make You Want to Rip Your Hair Out

I don’t know about you, but I personally have never been too great at relationships. For whatever  reason, things have just never worked out long term for me. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of “relationships” and/or “flings,” if you will, but I always find myself bored sometime within the first couple of months. I’m really not too bothered by this fact; however, we all know that it’s nice to have someone to keep us warm at night every now and then.

When I get into one of those “I really need a man” sort of moods, there are certain songs that are always there to make me want to commit a slow and painful suicide. Not really, obviously, but I think most people can probably relate to what I’m trying to say here. The fact is relationships just flat out suck. I don’t care if you’ve been in a relationship with the same person for five years; they still suck most of the time.

I’ve been doing a lot of reevaluation in regards to my so-called “love life” as of late and I’ve come to the realization that … well, I honestly haven’t figured anything out. I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing 90% of the time and I have absolutely no idea what exactly I want. What I do know, however, is that when I hear all of these cute songs, it makes me wish I had someone to think about while listening to them. 

Despite their excruciatingly depressing nature, everyone loves a good “sappy love song.” It’s like we’re drawn to them, regardless of how awful they can make us feel  because they describe in such perfect detail the kind of relationship that each and every one of us wants more than anything else in the world. And that, my dear friends, is just straight-up science.

 Songs to Make You Want to Rip Your Hair out

An RFC Mix

Patrick Park - Your Smile's A Drug

"When you say you're in love, you just sound like you're giving up."

The Dear Hunter - Where the Road Parts

"You were the only one that didn’t fold."

An RFC Mix: You are a dog chasing a car. What do you plan to do when you catch it?

This is a story.

A man and woman are walking down the street of a nameless suburban city. The air is filled with flakes of snow swirling around them as if inside a city-sized snow globe that’s being gently shaken. Their hands are clasped together as they make their way through the deserted cityscape. The stars are covered by the thick clouds that cast an orange glow through the sky. The falling snow dampens all noise save for the dull crunch of the snow under their feet. Their breath crystalizes and hangs in the air before being swept away by the wind.

“I have to tell you something.” She says.

“What is it?”

“I love you…”

He stops and smiles. “I love you too…”

“…but I can’t be with you.” Her interruption hangs in the air as thick as their breath. But it’s not being blown away. It just hovers in the air, stale as it stares Him down.

“I don’t understand. What are you saying?” His heart comes up through his throat. He chokes it back down.

“Listen to me. What we have is too beautiful. It’s too easy. We will get married and grow old and die side by side. This is not what you want.” Her statements fly out of her mouth like bullet points on a piece of paper. His stomach burns. “You want to be challenged. You’ve been chasing happiness as long as you can remember. This isn’t giving up. This is me giving you what you need. I’m leaving you. Now come find me.”

His head drops. He stares at their boots, and then closes his eyes. He was an expert at pretending to be sad. He brings his head back up to see nothing but falling snow. His eyes dart through the powder covered streets. Nothing but abandoned buildings and frost –covered windows. Where did she go? He spots a flicker of red out of his peripheral vision. It has to be her coat. He takes off, faster than he even thought He could move. He flys down an alleyway, turning a corner and loses his footing. The pain he should have felt when he slammed against the ground didn’t register. His heart is pumping like pistons in an engine. Adrenaline is flowing through his body like electricity through power lines. He smells her perfume as he picks himself up and follows the curving of the alley. He feels alive. He has purpose again.

This is a story of forever chasing something that you aren’t even sure exists. It's a story about following memories and tailing ghosts in the night. These are the songs for the tired traveler who just isn't ready to stop moving yet.

Sunset Rubdown You Go On Ahead (Trumpet Trumpet II)

You go on ahead for a while. I would like to just follow you a while.

Unbunny - Nothing Comes To Rest

Nothing comes to rest on the chest of those always running. And in this life I have been blessed by the starcrossed maps that kept me moving.

Built to Spill - Made-up Dreams

No one wants to hear what you dreamt about unless you dreamt about them

An RFC Mix: One Moment I'm A King, The Next Minute I'm Nothing — What Makes Keanu So Sad?

Poor Keanu Reeves. He'll never play a character that's better than Ted Theodore Logan (well maybe Neo ... maybe), he spends his life being stalked by cameras, and even with all his big movie star money, all he has for lunch is a dumb sandwich. No wonder he's so sad. 

In a popular series of photos, we see Reeves sitting on a bench, resting his wrists on his knees with a look of utter dejection on his face. In his hand is a piece of sandwich. The next photo depicts Reeves looking at the piece of sandwich in his hand, as if thinking "this peanut butter tastes off." Another photo still shows the actor licking his finger, with the piece of sandwich in the other hand. 

In all likelihood, Reeves is just enjoying some sandwich time. However, cameras turn it into a different story. Reeves is direly sad, alone, his only pleasure a pathetic sandwich. He eats it, bored on a bench with nobody to talk to. Alone. All alone, dressed like a raincloud. Sad, sad, sad Keanu.

And since Photoshop isn't just for professionals anymore, the Internet went wild. Sad Keanu developed into a great meme, placing Reeves into various depressing scenarios, like eating a sandwich next to a smiling Ronald McDonald or being the big downer at the center of "The Last Supper." And the sadder he looks, the better. Keanu may be sad, but the meme is just a delight.

We may never know what Reeves was thinking that day on the bench, or later that time with the helmet, or when he effectively recreated Sad Keanu with a cupcake. But next time you're scrolling through your Sad Keanus, listen along with this mix of sad songs for possibilities of what really makes Keanu so sad.

One Moment I'm A King, The Next Minute I'm Nothing

What Makes Keanu So Sad?

A Radio Free Chicago Mix

Lou Barlow - Legendary

Herman's Hermits - End of the World

Amos Lee - It Started to Rain

Timber Timbre - I Get Low

An RFC Mix: Hey Girl, I Could Just Stare At You Forever — Soundtrack To A Fantasy Boyfriend

Having a boyfriend is hard work. They eat your food, sleep in your bed, spend your money on cars and video games, occasionally find other people more attractive than you, and distract you from perfectly good movies with coitus.

That's why Fuck Yeah, Ryan Gosling is such a dear part of our lives. A fantasy boyfriend who says all the right things, but you don't have to put up with his mantics. When you see those words, "Hey Girl," it's like a lavender bath for your brain. Don't you just hear him saying it in your head? All soft and sexy-like? I don't know about you, but it placates me.

I don't even have a celebri-crush on Gosling. Well, maybe a little when I saw "The Notebook." Try to tell me he wasn't, like, batshit perfect in that movie. And he's not really bad to look at, either. And he seems like a really cool, sweet guy. Based on appearances, I'm not entirely sure he ISN'T the perfect man.

As a meme, various photos of Gosling are posted along with phrases he would say if he were into you in a bad way. "Hey Girl, Since Tumblr's been down, I wrote twenty songs about how great your hair smells"; "Hey Girl, Sure the hallway fight in 'Inception' was awesome, but why are you so gaga about Joseph Gordon-Levitt? I mean, what does he have that I don't? I'm not jealous. I swear. He's a good actor, but I mean....I'm not jealous"; "Hey Girl, Sometimes I get so sad when we can't watch 'Golden Girls' together."

Gosling may be the dude to end all dudes, or he may just be a fresh and funny meme. And what enhances a meme better than a mix to go along? Replete with some sweet romance, boy band action and mood music, this mix might just be your next fantasy boyfriend.

Hey Girl, I Could Just Stare At You Forever

Soundtrack To A Fantasy Boyfriend

A Radio Free Chicago Mix

Griffin House - The Guy That Says Goodbye to You is Out of His Mind

Evan and Jaron - Crazy for This Girl

Dean Martin - Cuddle Up a Little Closer, Lovey Mine

Semisonic - 'Til There Was You

New Kids on the Block - Stare At You

An RFC Mix: It's Gonna Be Legen - Wait For it...

I have two social circles. A lot of people do - They divide their home life or work life from their social life and I'm no exception. Recently, I was sitting with Matt Roney, that RFC contributor I seem to be damn near inseperable from these days given how many of my tales involve him, and I mentioned that, in my "home life", I'm "The Barney".

To understand this, of course, you have to mildly familiar with CBS's hilarious sitcom, How I Met Your Mother, which features the following archetypes:

Lily and Marshall: The inseperable couple whose quips and one-liners tend to play off each other, one of the rare couples that are as good as (if not better) together than they are apart.

Ted: The sincere optimist, the guy desperate to find "the one".

Robin: The wry, sarcastic lady friend with comittment issues.

And...

Barney: The hilarious, perpetually single... Well, I would say "horn dog" but you see, I'm comparing Barney to me here and I wouldn't call myself... Aw, screw it, let's just go with "horn dog".

I told Matt of my "Barney-dom" when suddenly, he stopped and looked at me. "Oh, god, you really ARE the Barney!" And at first, I was going to argue my case and say I wasn't that bad... Then I remembered that not ten minutes beforehand, I had made a list of my "romantic conquests" in 2010. And suddenly, a string of quips and memories came rushing back to me: A friend asking if I was dating a certain kid and my response of "Please, I have this thing. It's called standards." The way I walk over to my friends and exchange high fives after I get a phone number. The many phone calls I've made proclaiming "I'm in your area... Just doing a 'walk of shame', no big deal ONLY IT IS." The fact that "casual Amber" doesn't exist, opting instead for minidresses even in the dead of winter. Yes, it's true, I am Barney. The Barnacle, if you will.

By the by, I hope you aren't lactose intollerant because the second half of the word in the title of the post is "dairy".

It's Gonna Be Legen - Wait For It...

Being Barney Stinson, From A Girl's Point Of View

An RFC Mix

Blake Mills - Hey Lover

"Sometimes I hate myself for trying to be so bold."

Rilo Kiley - Portions For Foxes

"It's bad news but I do the same thing, I get lonely too."

Agent Ribbons - Le Noche

"I'm lonely and I cannot help myself."

An RFC Mix: Watch Out, The Future's Coming: Growing Up From A Former Child's Point Of View

In just a little over a year from now, I'll be turning 30. Being as close to it as I am, it doesn't really seem so old anymore.

I remember as a kid, even teenagers seemed like grown-ups to me, let alone 30-year-olds! By the time you're 30, you have a career and a house and a husband and kids and everything! Or so I thought.

Sure, I have a job, and it's a real job insomuch as it involves neither working a cash register nor dunking a basket of French fries into hot oil. I even have a 401k. I own a condo on which I pay a monthly mortgage and remember to change the furnace filter every three months. I've managed to keep a cat alive for almost 10 years. That's all sort of grown-up stuff.

But despite all that, I don't really feel like a grown-up. And being among other grown-ups, even those who are decades older than I am, I learn that such a thing may not even exist. Maybe there was a time when they did, but I don't think I've met one.

We're all just big kids playing real life. We do what we have to in order to, you know, live —perhaps even thrive — some of us become emotionally mature and/or brainy, and we engage in adult behavior such as driving cars and boning. We enjoy poignant witticisms that we would never have understood as children, but maintain that farts are also funny.

People spend their childhoods preparing to be grown-ups. They play house, determine their dream jobs, ask adults about sex and money. As teenagers, we even insist that we are grown-ups and claim to have things all figured out. IN YOUR FACE PARENTS! But then you get out of college and you realize, wait, THIS is grown up? It's not really so much like you imagined. You have relationships, they fail. You have a job, but it's not a career. You don't think all the grown-up thoughts that you thought grown-ups thought. 

Yes, Virginia, there is a such thing as a grown-up. But really it's not the wearing-suits, smelling-perfumey, eating-bran, no-toy-having bore we expected. I think as grown-ups, we can all be thankful that our childhood ideas of adults were not quite accurate. Despite what we thought grown up would be as kids, our imaginations kept it fun, and despite what adulthood entails, it doesn't change who we are.

Watch Out, The Future's Coming

Growing Up From A Former Child's Point Of View

A Radio Free Chicago Mix 

Her Space Holiday - The World Will Deem Us Dangerous

"Yes, the world could be cold, yes, the world could be cruel. Sometimes the only thing that you or I could do is laugh about it, cry about it, dance around it like another fool."

Jeremy Messersmith - Welcome to Suburbia

"Life's been so unkind to you. Never does what you want it to."

Tim Kasher - A Grown Man

"I don't want a kid and I can't keep being one."

Amber's Top Five Tracks Of The Week

I've spent a lot of time this past week drinking beer. But when I'm not busy cashing in my drink chips and living the High Life with the fine folks at The Miller Brewing Company, I've been churning out an impressive amount of reviews for sister sites Mezzic and Indie College. And, as I end up being lucky enough to review CDs I actually like, I've taken a shine to more than a few of the tracks. So start out your week with this mini-mix, why don't ya'? Not all of these tracks are new but all of them are awesome.

Dawn Landes - Young Girl

Justin Townes Earle - What I Mean To You

Frontier Ruckus - Ringbearer

Hiss Golden Messenger - Super Blue (Two Days Clean)

Ben Weaver - East Jefferson

Awesome Lyricists Of Our Time: Josh Ritter.

Few musicians are as wonderful as Josh Ritter. I can say this with confidence becuase I've seen Josh Ritter in concert and to put things simply, the man is a bucket of joy. I might have more respect for Ritter than I do any other man in the music industry because, as someone who spent a good chunk of her adult life going out nearly every single night to concerts, I know how tiring that lifestyle can be. Yet night after night, Ritter can be found on stage, be it stateside or across the pond, where Ritter is immensely popular, giving it his very literal all, bringing a ton of happiness to sold out audiences and doing it all with a grin on his face the whole time.

How lovely of a person Josh Ritter is is sort of beside the point however. It's my belief that Ritter very well might be the best lyricist of my generation. I'm slightly apprehensive to say this, only because there are lyricists out there that I'm sure are extremely talented that I've yet to hear but based upon who I have heard, I'm inclined to say that Ritter is tops.

Few songwriters these days can spin a tale like Ritter. Be it a love story between two scientists, engineering a bomb that could bring about the end of the world ("The Temptation of Adam") or a tragic story of love gone by the wayside ("Best Is For The Best"), Ritter is an expert story teller and I, for one, hope to one day use a Ritter lyric as a pick up line becuase how cool would that be? (I'd totally go for "If this was the cold war we could keep each other warm." because who the heck wouldn't fall for that?) Below, you'll find five examples to back up the statement "Josh Ritter might be the best lyricist of my generation." You're more than welcome to disagree with this statement but I feel as if I proved my case fairly well here.

Josh Ritter - The Temptation of Adam

We can pretend this giant missle is an old oak tree instead, and carve our names in hearts into the warhead.

Josh Ritter - Still Beating

You're half dead in the street but that just means you're half alive and your heart's still beating.

Josh Ritter - Another New World

So I said, "All I've got are my guts and my God," then I paused, "and the Annabel Lee."

Josh Ritter - Thin Blue Flame

At night, I make plans for a city laid down like the hips of a girl on the spring covered ground.

Josh Ritter - The Curse

I would love to link to one lyric from "The Curse" that singifies it's beauty but to be honest, I can't. The song is a love story between a mummy and the archeologist who excavates his tomb. If this song doesn't bring a tear to your eye, I'm sorry to break it to you but you probably have no soul. Read the lyrics in their enteirty here.

Also, Ritter has an amazing segment on his blog called "Making A Life In Music" which is a must read for anyone trying to make their way in music industry.

RFC Mix: Cheers To The Friend Zone

It's funny to think back on things that happened a veritable lifetime ago. Whether it just feels like an actual lifetime (in my case) or it sort of, kind of was (in the case of RFC mix-day-part-one-r's case, Abby Holmes), it's a strange sensation to put yourself back in the state of mind you were in previously. Now, don't get me wrong, readers, right now? Things are kind of swell in the "hot half-life" of Amber Valentine. But not that long ago, I spent almost a full year in the "friend zone" desperately trying to make my way out of it, like a cat scrambling to find it's way out of a burlap sack before being tossed in the Rouge River.

I've told this story many a-time and every telling results in the same declaration from my pals: "Who friend zone's Amber Valentine?" Good question! Well, in theory, it is. In actuality, however, I could make you a list of fine young gentlemen who have relegated your lovely racounteur to the sexual death that is known as the "friend zone". And sadly, that list is lengthy and covers many phases of my aforementioned hot half-life (which I do half-live, for those keeping score at home). Let's face it: We've all been there, whether we'd like to admit it or not. So, cheers to the friend zone. It's a sucky place full of sexless nights and agonized mornings but guess what? This gal's living proof that there is a pretty sweet existence outside of that dreaded, platonic, grey area and once you give up the ghost, you'll find there are other boys out there. Or girls, if that's what you're into.

Cheers To The Friend Zone

This Is Unlike The Story It Was Written To Be

A Friend Zone RFC Mix 

Biz Markie - Just A Friend

"Oh, baby, you got what I need, but you say 'He's just a friend'."

RFC Mix: You Lost At Love, But Here's Your Consolation Prize.

I haven't had a genuine, life-altering crush in quite some time, at least not on anybody who I didn't see up on a stage or a television screen. Reading through a journal I kept when I was 17 proves that.

There was a boy in that book about whom I wrote almost every day (not to mention dozens of other crushes that were still more significant than anything I've had in the past five years). His name was Josh, and, whether I was gushing about getting to cuddle with him on a couch or fed up at him for not reciprocating my feelings, he was usually the first person on my mind at any given time.

My last crush resulted in a terrible three-year-long relationship through which I discovered the guy I'd fallen in love with was pretty much the complete opposite of who I thought he was. That experience may have ruined my ability to crush. How can you trust what you feel is real and not something you're making up in your head just because you miss feeling that way?

Thus, I remain 2-and-a-half years single. It's good. It's great, in fact. The thing is, life without love interests is, like, a bajillion times easier — a gazillion, even! However easy it may be, I guess it's only human to miss it sometimes. That awful feeling you get in your gut when discover you like-like someone that you know will only go away if you could just get him alone, if you could just brush his hand with yours, if you could just kiss him, if you could just hear him say, "I'm into you." It's a disgusting feeling, really. You can't eat, you can't focus, and you can't very well just say to his face that you like him because OMG WHAT IF HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU BACK?!

Crushes are half bliss and half misery — half basking in the glow of the one you (might) love and half completely sick that you aren't his girlfriend. While one part of you is dreamily thinking up what will happen the next time you meet, the other part is tormented for any number of reasons. It's hard to acknowledge the torment when you're walking on a cloud, but it's there. And eventually, something even worse happens: You get over the crush. It doesn't even bother you at the time, because you don't realize you've become dead inside. You're just happy all those butterflies have stopped fluttering around your vital organs. What a relief to have a) landed a relationship with your crush; b) lost interest in your crush; c) suffered amnesia.

But it's always still there, just a little bit, right? Eventually you grow up and move on. A phantom feeling still remains when you think about him. It's no longer because you want to be with him, but it's nostalgia for when you did, for all those things you thought he could have been but never was. You know who he is now, and you understand why things turned out the way they did, and you don't regret the outcome, and yet a very miniscule part of you continues to wonder, what if? Because no matter the reality, the enchantment of a crush is immortal.

I can't help but still think of Josh fondly, and even that ex who I know I wouldn't have even had a crush on in the first place had I known then what kind of person he is. In honor of the bewildering and ambiguous nature of a crush, here is a mix illustrating the spectrum of feelings it brings.

You Lost At Love, But Here's Your Consolation Prize.

A Radio Free Chicago Mix

Jake Ryan- Summer Camp
"You could be my heartbreaker, you could be everything. I can't wait to burn your letters."

Amber's Roommate's Megamix: All The Songs You'd Hoped You'd Never See On RFC AND MORE!

Editor's Note: There's really no excuse for what you're about to read and the tracks you're about to endure. But if you can't laugh at the fact that the Jonas Brothers are currently all up on Radio Free Chicago, alongside Timber Timbre and Cursive, then... Well... Personally, I laugh to keep from crying. This is what happens when I say "Of course you can make a mix for RFC, Heidi!" Brace yourselves.

Okay, so being the roommate of the infamous Amber Valentine, there is never a dull moment, be it deciding to run out in the pouring rain to dance to tribal music, or eating Taco Bell in bed on a Sunday night. Ms. Valentine is a fiery, foxy mama. I mean, you all already knew that, didn’t you? So normally, we have crazy, cool, and not necessarily collected, but bona fide awesome Amber. But there is nothing more awful than an Amber scorned. When you cross Amber Valentine, you cross her clan of fabulous misfits. 

I mean, look at her – sure, she talks about music maybe a little more than most people can keep up with, but she is also the kindest girl out there. When you need something from Amber Valentine, she gives her all to the cause, even if it’s just feeding the cats or going to the bank. So when someone drops the ball on her the one time she asks for anything back due to his own martyrdom, I get angry. Not like hulk angry, because I can’t afford to bust out of my nice dress shirts, but pretty angry nonetheless.

I made this mix, the first of its kind, to accompany Amber while she deals with incredibly stupid boys… Well, an incredibly stupid boy, in particular. I will briefly preface it with the following statement: I am not an indie music genius. I am just an average girl with average tastes who listens to a lot of crap and a little bit of awesome stuff. I tried to siphon off a little of the crap for your benefit.

I hope you enjoy:

I’m Super, Thanks for Asking. Now, Stop Wasting My Time.

The Radio Free Chicago Mix You Thought Would Never Happen

Hercules Original Soundtrack - I Won't Say I'm In Love

Because Amber is always the last to know when she falls in love, and she’s way hotter than Meg from Hercules. Where are Amber’s backup singers?

Miniature Tigers - Mansion of Misery

So this whole album was a fit of giggles over at our house, until we realized how much we all related to these songs.

Jonas Brothers - S.O.S.

“I’m done with texting, ‘Sorry for the miscommunication,’” because only the Jonas Brothers and Miley would sing about texting, and I was explicitly told, “No Miley.”

 The Sounds - Queen Of Apology

She is the King of lady music journalists, the Princess of dancing in her underwear, and most situationally appropriately, the Queen of Apology.

Gap Band - You Dropped A Bomb On Me

“You were my thrills, you were my pills; you dropped a bomb on me. You turned me out, you turned me on; you turned me loose, then you turned me wrong.” Sing it, Gap Band!

Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings

Because contrary to popular belief, even Amber Valentine is “vincible”. The girl cries 24-karat bulletproof tears.

 Morning Benders - Cold War (Nice Clean Fight)

 “When the end is near, let’s just be frank,” because even I have to choose a good song once in a while.

 Peter Bjorn and John - Let's Call It Off

“Some things are better to leave unexplored. Did you agree we just let it be? Did you agree it’s a must, let’s call the whole thing off.”

Ben Folds Five - Gone

“I know that you went straight to someone else, while I worked through all this shit here by myself.” I don’t know if the former is true, but the latter sure is, and I can’t change Ben Folds’ lyrics for my own benefit.

Olivia Netwon John - Hopelessly Devoted to You

“Guess mine is not the first heart broken, my eyes are not the first to cry; I’m not the first to know there’s just no getting over you.” There is a Grease song for everything!

Jukebox the Ghost - Half Crazy

Because I can’t honestly believe that anyone would ever friend-zone Tommy Siegel. What a convincing author of fiction!

Bicycle Voice - Freshman

Because there’s nothing cuter than a Meg Webb singing about your life and playing her uke, except maybe if she was dressed as a unicorn!

 Alice Deejay - Better Off Alone

 Because who thinks they’re better off alone BEFORE asking a girl out? Tsk tsk, retard.

Skybox - Buckets

Because as a professional walrus, I can’t help myself but love a good song about a bucket.

 Ingrid Michaelson - Starting Now

“I want to crawl back inside my mother’s womb.” Who doesn’t?!

The Format - Dog Problems

“Boys in swooping haircuts, you know who you are,” because this boy is almost as self centered as Nate Ruess, only I can imagine his pants aren’t even kind of as stupid as Nate’s. Who are you, an overgrown Huckleberry Finn?

Taylor Swift - You're Not Sorry

“Could’ve loved you all my life if you hadn’t left me waiting in the cold. And you got your share of secrets, and I’m tired of being the last to know.”

The Strokes - Between Love and Hate

“Don’t worry about it, honey, I never needed anybody.”

Amy Winehouse - Tears Dry on Their Own

“Oh god, my life is Back to Black! D:” – Amber Valentine

The Cast Of Glee - Stronger

Because Glee did SOMETHING right.

 OK Go - Don't Ask Me

“Don’t be so damn benign, and don’t waste my FUCKING TIME.”

Big Gay Al - I'm Super

Because when I’m feeling down, I turn to the  Build-A-Bear Workshop Dance and Big Gay Al to set me straight. HAHA wordplay! Did u c wat i did there?

 

RFC Mix: Two Sides To Every Story: What's Left To Say When Your Tongue's Turned To Ash?

Editor's note: I wrote this weeks ago. I'm so over the situation like you would not believe but who am I to let a great mix go to waste?!

Oh, how easy it is to play the martyr. And no matter how many of my friends proofread the scant words I've written on my emotional well being as of late, I can't help but feel like I'm dragging the other party through the mud. I realize I'm not. If anything, I'm being all too cordial about the situation becuase no matter what way you slice it, I didn't only expect more respect but I deserved it. And at 26, I'm sort of at the "all or nothing" phase of my life where I deem people worth my time completely or not worth it all. Casual dating? That ain't me, babe. But neither is cruelty where it isn't deserved. So, as there are two sides to every story, I did my best to attepmt to, in twelve songs or less, tell ya'll what the proverbial "he" might be feeling right now. Did I hit the nail on the head? Well, in the words of Brand New front man Jesse Lacey, "you won't know". None of us will. He doesn't come around this way anymore. (Editor's note: Overdramatic even for me! Ah, man. Heartache is so funny in retrospect!)

So this is best effort to encapsulate what exactly he may have been thinking when he let a catch like this go. (No, seriously, I'm a catch you guys! I mean... That's what my step mom keeps telling me!)

Check my half of story at Left With Nothing Left To Lose: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.

Also, be sure to grab Shani's "Boost Amber's Morale" mix called Break Up, Drink Up.

As for what's left...

Two Sides To Every Story

What's Left To Say When Your Tongue's Turned To Ash?

A Radio Free Chicago Mix

Pearly Gate Music - Golden Funeral

"You turned your friends into lovers and now, your lovers are all gone."

Ben Sollee and Daniel Martin Moore - Something, Somewhere, Sometime

"If I wounded you, I'm sorry. It happens all the time."

Bad Books - You Wouldn't Have To Ask

"If I could help you, you wouldn't have to ask."

Brand New - You Won't Know

"Your daughter wasn't careful - I fear that I am a slippery slope."

Ted Leo & The Pharmacists -  Me And Mia

"If you believe in something beautiful, then get up and be it."

Dear and the Headlights - Hallelujah

"Memories aren't for keeping, mostly just for leaving behind."

The Decemberists - Red Right Ankle

"Crawled (his) way into your heart, to rend your ventricles apart."

Jeremy Messersmith - A Girl, A Boy And A Graveyard

"She said 'Life's a game we're meant to lose. Stick by me and I will stick by you.'"

Lightning Love - Girls Are Always Wrong

"Boys are always wrong, they found out later on, when they're too ashamed to change what's done & it's too late."

The National - Squalor Victoria

"This isn't working, my middlebrow fuck up."

Okkervil River - Another Radio Song

"This infection gets stronger every year, this direction of a tear rolling down your cheek. And there is no escapign it."

Eels - It's A Motherfucker

"It's a motherfucker."

An RFC Mix: I Might Be Dead But My Heart's Still Alive

Sure, Halloween parties are swell and all - You get to dress up, drink, dance and indulge in enough candy corn to make you vomit. But what's the good of a spooky shindig unless you have a spooky soundtrack to orchestrate the whole shebang? 

Well, we here at Radio Free Chicago have your back. Below, you'll find my personal Halloween soundtrack with everything from perennial classics ("Monster Mash" anyone?!) to tunes about slaughtering co-eds in the forest (Okkervil River's "Westfall" because what's an Amber made mix without some Okkervil River?) and everything to do with corpses, funerals, and spooks in between.

I Might Be Dead But My Heart's Still Alive

A Spooky Radio Free Chicago Mix

 

Bobby 'Boris' Pickett - Monster Mash

 Eisley - Many Funerals

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Black Tongue

 Andrew Jackson Jihad - Bad Bad Things

 Okkervil River - Westfall

 Agent Ribboms - Obituary

 Aimee Mann - Frankenstein

Ben Collins - Minnie Quay

Eels - Going To Your Funeral [Part 1]

Ferraby Lionheart - Before We're Dead (Live At Daytrotter)

Fiona Apple - Sally's Song

Rasputina - The Donner Party

 

   

An RFC Mix - Emanuel Thinks RFC Should Know...Animal Collective!

Okay, so while talking on (what else?) Twitter, somehow Amber and I got on the subject of Animal Collective. More specifically that she doesn't like them. And then during an RFC staff e-mail session, more Animal Collective un-enthusiasts came out of the woodwork to voice their skepticism about MY FAVORITE BAND OF THE ENTIRE LAST DECADE. Now it's my job to show them all the considerable error of their ways. I apologize to all of the readers who do not happen to be living in crazyland with these thugs, but some things just are not okay.

 

 

 

Ways to Get Into Heaven

A Radio Free Chicago Mix

 

Animal Collective  - Prospect Hummer

From a collaborative EP with Vashti Bunyan. Feel like there's a perception held by people only 
familiar with newer AC that all they can do is stand around and turn knobs. Nahhhhh

 Animal Collective - College

also underrated: Animal Collective's lyrical ability.

 Animal Collective - Grass

Soooo happyyyyyyy

 Animal Collective - Fireworks

SOOOOO HAPPYYYYYYY

 Animal Collective - Street Flash

One of my favorite AC slow jams. Even their EPs are filled with really excellent material. The screams during the middle portion get me so much.

 Animal Collective - La Rapet

It's one thing to jump across genres. It's another to create them at will, inhabit them for a while, and then toss them aside like it's nothing. This song is so majestic and stirring. The angelsssssss

 Animal Collective - Someday I'll Grow To Be As Tall As The Giant

An interstitial from the same record as "La Rapet," Spirit They're Gone, Spirit They've Vanished. I really love the title, and it's just nice. 

Animal Collective - On A Highway

From their most recent release, the Fall Be Kind EP. The production on it is really sweet and the lyrics are surprisingly direct. It's probably their darkest song. FBK is my favorite of their EPs, the whole thing is so incredible. 

 Animal Collective - The Purple Bottle

The first Animal Collective song I ever heard. Still my favorite. Never have heard a song come close to its ecstasy.

 Animal Collective - Visiting Friends

Something to just lay around with headphones on to. The wobbling vocals slipping in and out of the mix are so cool, and help separate it from their similar Campfire Songs-era strum-a-thons. It really has a feel of its own. Inscrutable.

 Animal Collective - My Girls

I've jumped and stomped around to this with my best friends so often. It's probably stereotypical that I'll view this song as a representative of a defining moment in my life, but that's even more exciting to me. It's well-deserving as an anthem. 

 Animal Collective - Daily Routine

I think usually I would have put "Leaf House" here. It's the opener to my favorite album of theirs (Sung Tongs), and one of their signature tunes. But for some reason, I'm just feeling "Daily Routine." I don't even like Merriweather Post Pavillion, the album this is from, like that. It gives me a headache. But the throb of Daily Routine is just right. And I remember being high and listening to the goooorgeous ending with my friend Pat on my headphones when the album first leaked. It was like past midnight, we were sitting in a playground near where he lived and we were just quiet and wide-eyed. It was so LAME. 

If I Seem A Little Callous, I Assure You, It's Just A Scratch: Sad Bastard Playlist.

 It all started with a tweet. A request from my friend Shaun asking for more tracks for his "Sad Bastard" playlist. Well, if there's two things I am, it's sad and a bastard! Wait... No. That's wrong. I'm not really either of those things. Regardless, however, I listen to more than my share of "Sad Bastard" music. From the newest Menomena disc (how's that for a downer?!) to Tim Kasher's many projects (if he's not a sad bastard, I don't know who is) to Neko Case (don't let the gender fool you - She is such a sad bastard!), I've got the "Listening To Sad Bastard" music market cornered, so to speak. So naturally, instead of @'ing Shaun with a list of my favorite "Sad Bastard" tracks in 140 characters or less, I figured, heck, why not make another RFC mix? Because, frankly, this  is a pitch perfect example of why mix making is so damn cool. Last time around, I made a mix to assist me. This time? It's to assist a pal.

To be completely honest, I'm not sure what (if anything) Shaun's even bummed about. He usually is a champ at makin' like the Hold Steady by staying positive and I can sure as heck guarantee that this dude ain't no bastard. But hey, if he wants to wallow is some self-pity, I am not going to stand in his way. Instead, I'm going to give him a bunch of songs to make him mope even harder! Because that's from friends are for, right?

If I Seem A Little Callous, I Assure You It's Just a Scratch

A Sad Bastard Playlist

Courtesy of Radio Free Chicago

Menomena - Queen Black Acid
I made myself an open book, I made myself a sitting duck

The Good Life - I Am An Island

Baby, I quit. I just can't fake it anymore. I'm a dull, jaded, selfish, abusive, dysfunctional fuck up.

Beck - Modern Guilt

It feels like everything's starting to hit me. I lost my bearings ten minutes ago.

M. Ward -  Sad, Sad Song

The hardest thing in the world to do is to find somebody that believes in you.

Hiss Golden Messenger - Super Blue (Two Days Clean)

Double shots, that's what I bought, to forget who I am.

Brand New featuring Kevin Devine - Jesus Christ

This problem is gonna last more than the weekend.

Neko Case - Hold On, Hold On

Now it's the devil that I love and that's as funny as real love, and that's as real as true love.

Aimee Mann - Save Me

Could you save me from the ranks of the freaks who suspect they could never love anyone?

David Bazan - Hard To Be (Live At Daytrotter)

 It's hard to be a decent human being.

Josh Ritter - Best for the Best (Acoustic)

If the best is for the best then the best can be damned.

Pearly Gate Music - I Was a River

If I still loved you, I'd swim through valleys carved out of the sea and I'd take you places without decided, I'd forget everything in all of my sleep but if I still loved you, I wouldn't be free.

Cursive - What Have I Done?

Are these the best tales I can spin? A boy waiting to begin? A man with no memoirs?

Okkervil River - Bruce Wayne Campbell Interviewed on the Roof of the Chelsea Hotel, 1979

You win on every issue. Now can I kiss you? Don't you care how long it's been? It's been so many years I've lived my yearning.